Of Windowpanes and Penguins

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          That was my kitten's first typing experience. He's a very talented cat; born on the 25th of last January and he's already learning to type and chase after his Cat Chow before he eats it. He talks too much, and by too much I don't mean the cute "aww-his-meows-are-so-adroable" kind of too much, I mean the "STFU YOU FLEA INFESTED B****, WE'RE TRYING TO GET SOME F****** SLEEP!!!!11!!" kind of too much. He also likes teddy bears, ribbons and my hair, all of which provide him with plenty of fun adventures and this sort of kitty stuff. He does not attempt to go for my sister's hair because she bites her own, thank you very much, so I guess everyone's happy.


          So the most HHHHHonorable delegate of the People's Republic of China thinks she's nature's sexiest creature or something along these lines. I'm not really sure because I wasn't really listening to a word she was saying. I was too busy picking my nose/knitting a scarf/watching the Weather Channel, all of which suited my taste better.


           So my new passion is checking out Foreca.com and checking the Precipitation chances for the next 10 days. And while this should help me predict when will we be having rainy days in the near future, it's not a very practical hobby - not because it's about 30 degrees Celsius out there at the moment with no forseeable rain, but because, the last time it rained, I didn't have any preparations ready because I was too lazy to check the forecast (I was procrastinating).


          My arms hurt. I think they haven't decided whether I've been a bad enough boy to deserve to have Carpal Tunnel or Tennis Elbow, so it reached a compromise by hurting me in both possible ways. Funny thing is, I have no idea why it's being such a bitch, my arm, because not only do I NOT play tennis but I have also cut down on any activities which might've given me Carpal Tunnel, if you know what I mean.

          I've decided that world deserved this new post when my only reader/agent/favourite midget told me what I heard as "your blog isn't worth two buffalo heads rubbed together" when she was actually telling me a story about her very miserable and violent childhood. Either way, I'm here now and I'm ready to receive ideas for discussion for discussion. Any suggestions? 

-Q 1: Ismail, Ismail, tell us what do you think of Moammar Al-Quaddafi.

- This guy is dope and has got bigger balls than any Elephentiasis patient. It's one thing to be crazy, but to be crazy and loving it, that's art!

-Q 2: Ismail, tell us what you think of the Spanish.

-They have hairy girls. That's that.

-Q 3: Ismail, tell us about the best feeling you've had recently.

-Relief. Talent Show auditions have a way with that, apparently, but not as you might think.

-Q 4: Is there anything you'd like to say to the most honorable delegate of the People's Republic of China? 

-I still think the raisin was there for a reason, and I still think you should be called Sum Buk Lao, and I definitely think I'm a great flirt and if you don't think so then maybe you should start questioning your optometrist, your orientation, or your heat-sensing nerve endings because I be sizzlin' more than a fajita with more chili than meat, served with two smoking latinas and a bottle of Patrón .

Q 5: What is the answer to the brainteaser that you did NOT announce at the beginning of this post?

-I chose a new font, because I'm gangsta like that.

Now I have to decide whether I should kick it in the front seat or just stay in the back seat. Fun.

"I would like to make an ohdah' fo' dah Pick-ahp" - Ownage Pranks