Chicken Carnival

          This post is, once again, upon the request of a friend of a very good friend of mine, whom I've just been informed is a regular reader of mine, and I just can't say no to one of these folks, they're the best. I really have no idea why she hadn't asked me for a new post personally, but that's not for me to decide - but shout out to everyone out there, I don't bite, especially if you're a lady, who doesn't want my money.

         So while logging in and checking my dashboard, I noticed that a friend of mine had a recent post about Vampires, so I wrote a comment on her post,and quoting myself: "couple of ma3loomat that u might find interesting:

-the myth of vampires started besabab two medical conditions, one that makes your skin extremely sensitive to light, so sensitive, in fact, that mediocre sunlight exposure can cause burns and skin cancer, and a couple of years back, there was a bit of news about a family people attacked here in Egypt because they wouldn't ever go out during day time. they had this condition, it's genetic. The other condition makes your blood hemoglobin count extremely low, so you end up craving foods rich in iron, such as raw liver and, the best source of iron ever, fresh blood.

-Ma3looma tania, did u know that, sicne vampries are always depicted as filthy rich, and somewhat leisurely, their myths have only appeared in historical times and areas that have been in economical abundance, but myths about zombies and ragged, dead corpses in general, have only sprung up in poor areas such as the Caribbean islands. Can you see the connection? " Please excuse the sloppy grammar and language, I was hungry at the time. I'd like to elaborate on that subject, mythology and its roots and cultural implications is a very significant topic in my life and I'd love to do it justice, but maybe not this time, because I'm hungry, so if I find that enough people are interested, it might just make it to the top of my "To Be Blabbed About" list.

          Now, the reason why I'm hungry, it's called a gym, which I think sounds much better than "gymnasium" which makes guys everywhere sound like a bunch of stretch pants-wearing pansies who love to do somersaults and jumping jacks and this sort of monkey shit. Gym sounds so much better, so much manlier, short, concise, gorilla-like. Very astutely named. I have found your average gym to represent all levels of the masculine society, as smelly and beautifully uncivilized as it is. On the one hand, you find the beefcakes, who usually keep to themselves and other beefcakes, who look intimidating and they know it, so they bask in its power (the equivalent of the dumb blonde, except that, smart people can grow muscles, dumb blondes, dumb brunettes and dumb everything can't grow brains), and on the other you find the skinny carrots, fumbling around with their tiny dumbbells and unloaded barbells like the cute squirrels they are, relatively speaking, and in between the two aforementioned categories you find everything from the weird ass foreigners, the flirters, the homos, the wannabes, and 2arrareen (doesn't have a satisfactory English equivalent, my apologies to my cosmopolitan readers). What does that mean? It means that women definitely do not appreciate how much effort it takes to bench press that loaded barbell, the same way men don't appreciate how much effort it must take chicks to wax, or whatever it is that chicks do. Point is, we do it, so if we ever catch you walking around with a visible moustache, we won't be happy, and I'm addressing a certain group of girls you must have guessed by now if you've heard me whine about that topic enough.

           Moving on to a more interesting topic: the theater. I watched an amateur play very recently, and  I thoroughly enjoyed the experience, but for some reason, watching a play is still a complicated deal for me. The script writing for plays is just so, let's face it, mind boggling at time. I mean, what about Shakespeare? Crazy scripts, they just compel you to stop, and try to think about things, and the way the actors just stop between lines, I guess I'm just a movie person, fast paced. However, I've acted in enough plays to realise how much effort needs to be put into a project like the one I've enjoyed, and so I'd like to raise a glass, my hat, and various other objects to all the fabulous ladies who helped make my night, and several others', very enjoyable.

          Aaaaaaaaaaaand it's 1.30 am already. It's funny how time flies, especially if you're writing a blog post while simultaneously checking facebook and msn. It's funny how half my Facebook is suddenly obssessed with Douglas Adams, and it's funny how everyone thought I was a retard when I had my share of his writings. God, I love this guy and all 6 books of his "increasingly inaccurately-called trilogy". Towels, beautiful things. If you haven't read his work, then, I suggest you go read Barney Stinson's The Bro Code, if you're a dude, that'll help cut down on some of the retarded behaviour I get to endure on a daily basis. More and more guys are starting to act like their Y chromosome has gone out to walk the dog and never came back, yes, all 3 trillion versions of their Y chromosomes from all their cells have walked out on them, and this spells a lot of abandonment issues, and red skinny pants. I've also noticed that, the less Y chromosomes a guy's got, the larger are his bicep and dog, and it seems like everyone's walking around with a dog these days, it's so commonplace it's a testimonial to how superficial and shallow women are if they're still running around giving every guy with a cute dog some attention: Newsflash ladies; he couldn't care less about the dog if it didn't get him some hot female, so get over yourselves, and besides, huge slobbering pitbulls with narrow eyes are definitely not cute.

          So I guess that's enough for one post, but for dessert, I'd like to leave y'all with some food for thought:
"What would life look like from the perspective of a bsaketball?"