Underrating Machine Guns

          So, this marks the first blog post I happen to write while being food-deprived, which, as the people closest to me would know, is the third most dangerous state to be in. Food depravity, combined with dreams of cannibalistic party-goers and shiny neon green toxic bugs, are enough to drive anyone to the very brink of extinction. I had a theory a coupe of days back that the dinosaurs died out because they did not have the opposable thumbs to invent TV or writing, and after several million years of life on Earth, there are only so many things you can do, so one day, they just decided watching swamp plants die is too damn boring, and they just, I don't know, jumped off a cliff or something. Luckily, us humans managed to just discover fire before we got this insane, and with the discovery of fire came the habit of sitting around fireplaces,grilling stuff and talking, as a means of entertainment. Did anyone notice that the word 'discovery' had the word 'disco' in it?

          After wasting a number of potential hours reading a book that comprised the Nordic god Thor, a green immortal alien who thrived on drinking every form of beer present in the universe and insulting people in alphabetic order, I have come to think that maybe the Infinite Improbability Drive thing could work. I like how the word Froody sounds. Reminds me of Fred Flinstone. Never liked him.

          People have accused me of hogging a mind that was an exceedingly entertaining place to live. Matter of fact, some even went as far as to suggest that I have invented a new form of hallucinogenic form of liquor that has permanent effect. This can not happen, and therefore, has not. Why? Because, had I invented this form of liquor, I would have had such creative energy in me to have burned my way through all the pleasures of life, and got so bored by the time I became 30 I built a time machine so I can go back in time and keep myself company with the only person I feel really understands me, most of the time. Me. However, since I do not have a mega cool middle-age friend who's just as awesome as I am, add the great gizmos of the future, then, yeah, I'm not on that amazing liquor thing. Sorry.

          Someday I'll create a new superweapon made of an emo kid with the ability to absorb all negative emotions from the world and use it to self destruct, killing everyone around him/her. This new weapon will make super rich and famous because its usage will be a win-win situation: I get money, the emo kid dies and gets his misery over with, the world loses its content of negative emotion for a while, everyone is happy, the dead people won't have to pay taxes anymore and the people who deployed the bomb got what they wanted. Everybody wins. Maybe I'll offer different models: one with goth kids, others with ghetto kids. This last one will be superb, it can even squirt kool-aid after it's been detonated. Some people would call me a racist, but then I'd give them my talk about the new idiot Drake, yeah, the one who supposedly raps, but that's another story.

          So, until next time friends, make sure your poodles are kept away from next winter's supply of ponchos. Sayonara!

I can see a hard disk, silver  on top, black and green below,
I have no idea why people use things at parties to make their teeth glow,
Must be a new novelty, but hey, next thing you know,
The next big thing would be to have a double chin grow.