The Pacific Dilemma

          "So where there's smoke there's fire, where there's fire there's flames, where there's flames there's Chronic, either you high or you ain't" - Dr. Dre.
 
          "It must be the ganja, it's the marijuana, that's creepin' up on me, why I'm so high" - Eminem

          Why have I started my blogpost with two rap weed-related quotes? No idea.

        So what with Ye7ya being in the Grammys, Wezza's video spreading like wildfire, pussy AUCians protesting over some pussy shit and my cursing levels reaching this month's high, it's been a very nice October, thank you for asking. Yesterday I heard this really great joke. Remind me to tell you about it later in this post. What's up with hair ointment advertisements these days? What kind of idiot really believes that olive oil/mayonnaise extract/wheat extract/cactus juice/snakeskin fat can nourish hair? Seriously? I mean, last time I checked, hair was, kind of, like, a dead structure, and, well, zombies aside, most dead things don't usually require too much nutrition, you know. Besides, for something that 97% protein and 3% water, it sure does require loads of fat for nourishment, what's with all these oils, don't you think? Someone should sue, but I won't, I'll be the skeptic viewer watching the trial on TV and making fun of everyone. Oh, wait, they've banned the media from trial halls. Crap.

          "El-So2al dah VIP STUMP. 7ad fahem 7aga?". If this quote doesn't ring any bells, then you're welcome to skip this paragraph. What's up with Doctor catchphrases? Why would I care about Jewish pathologists? Why would you verbally abuse Jewish pathologists? Not only ave they created the science you teach as a means of feeding your family, you also suck at it more than they do. And what's with the worms guy, seriously. "Maho law kont betgeeb el 5eyar 3ashan taklo kont 3ereft"? Seriously? That's just wrong, dude. Lose the goatee. I wouldn't want to see my son grow up into this, let alone see myself grow up into this. It's a hard knock life.

           What's up with trunks? From vegetables (Black Eyed Peas) ("whatcha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk?") to rapping M&M ("you got more junk in your trunk than I do in my car") and the world is still thinking about the common points between asses and graphics cards. Get over it people, they both give you something to look at. So now you can literally go to the "hood" to "pimp your ride" (your ride not being your car) and working on that front "bumper" and that "trunk", making it "bounce". Gotta love the innuendo. Or cars. Or women. OR Cars AND Women. What's the difference between 'em anyway, apart from the metal, and much lower running costs and the much lower word-spoken-per-minute rating? (You all know which of the pair I'm praising right now, don't you?).

           So, I'm bored with this post, so I'll just leave you all with that joke I promised earlier:

An Irishman walks out of a bar.



       

Living Room Oil Spill

          It's been a pretty hectic day. what with standing on sidewalks reminiscing on old memories while watching hungry stray cats sniff everything for food remains, to discussing why am I still standing there after class, and with people egging em to upload my blog, coughing, sleeping in class, having dreams in class, waking up in class, waking other people up in class, eating Sondos crepes, i'ev barely had time to breathe, eat, surf the web, chat online and make a couple of phone calls. They should definitely pay me for this.

          My cat has a black nose. He's sitting on my lap as I write this. I love the little retarded furball.

          Have you heard of Dr. Mousa and his schistosoma jokes? If not,t hen I don't suggest you try.

          I like pomegranate, they're juicy and pink and delicious. They're good for you, way better laxative than cigarettes. go get your pomegranate NOW.

          I will not buy a new phone that costs me Idon'tcarehowmany EGP a day so I can talk to my friends on the go. Whatever happened to ADSL and/or Ebuddy + WAP?

          I gave someone I know a nickname a while back. An onomatopoeia nickname, matter of fact. I think it's cute. Don't go jelling, because you probably won't get one. This is Ismail's Royalty Treatment. Are you Royalty?

          I think my cat's running on batteries.

         Aaaaaaand that's all for tonight folks. As I always say, teeth are overrated. Mashed apples are too.